I don't think anyone will even make an effort to read this and god, I don't even know if this is the right subreddit. But I'm desperate and I need advice.
A few weeks ago I started being very unhappy. It came out of nowhere and I thought I was just having a bad day. But it never really lingerred, this unsatisfied, unbalanced feeling and now I'm trapped in a spiral of my surroundings. My family is concerned about me criticising them and being sad all the time. They've made everything worse when they started making a bigger deal of it, surely they were just concerned but still. My mother basically told me to be like anyone else (especially in school) because I was just making everyone confused and sad. I felt like this was literally the worst thing to tell me. It felt like she meant that I have to get rid of being this way as doon as possible because the feelings of others are worth more than mine. It felt like she was telling me that I should rather hide my feelings and suffer quietly than driving everyone around me crazy.
I feel like my confidence has shrunk ever since I've enterred a relationship. I got jealous a lot and whilst I was trying to ignore this knot in my stomach it started to dissolve my self-confidence. Too many coincidences (connected to my bf) have since made me realise how I am not like the others, how my social skills are after all almost non-existent, how I'm not half as outgoing as anyone else is. Apart from that I started comparing myself to other girls. My bf is a sweetheart and he never has done wrong, but I've still made him cry with my horribly possesive behaviour. I just believe that all these failures I've recently encounterred have turned me into a person who is dead-unhappy with herself. Everyone wants to know what id going on me with me but I barely can tell myself. I guess all these things are factors for it, but how to get rid of them? With my family constantly reminding me? How can I get happy again or at least figure out what the main cause for my discomfort is? I really fucked up. I believe that a lot of people hate me and that is a horrible feeling. I just feel like I suck all over, like I fail at simple every-day-tasks. I don't know what to do.
Submitted http://reyview.com/
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